Dear Patty,

You know both Betty and Veronica really well. So tell me, what do those beautiful, intelligent girls see in old Carrot Top?!?

I don’t get it!

Reg

I’m Back!!!!

It’s 12:01am and I’ve got my computer back! Did you miss me, Adoring Fans? Of COURSE you did! You can’t fool old Reg. My dad is getting humorless in his old age. He USED to know how to take a joke; I guess I need to give him some “lighten up” lessons. Geesh!

The important thing is I am back on-line and filling this space with my wisdom, wit and mirth. So, what have you been up to whilst I was in Internet Siberia? Do tell.

The Reg

Today was a long day at school. I was nice to everybody – mostly of the female persuasion. My fingers are still sore from all the rose thorns; why doesn’t somebody make thornless roses?

Anyway, looks like the old Mantle charm worked its magic on another damsel. Veronica passed me in the hall today and gave me a funny look. I said “hi” but she just hurried on by. Then I caught her staring at me during Professor Flutesnoot’s class. And she watched me all through lunch too.

Finally, she’s seen the light. Good-bye Archie. Hello Reg! I think I’ll ask her out.

Reg

Oooh, I’m scared. LOL

You’re GIRLS! It’ll take you 3 months to decide what to do!

I’ll be waitin’.

Reg

The Bee crashed the party. And I was really hoping we’d have a food fight today. The Bee acted just like a principal and said we had to put all the hurt feelings behind us because we’re supposed to be concentrating on tests this week.

But you know what I think? I think The Bee has forgotten what it’s like to be young. Too bad.

Oh well – there’s always tomorrow.

The Reg

P.S. Girls ARE dumb.

You guys crack me up. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to insult me. But, alas, I DO know my fans – and you LOVE ME! It’s okay, you can admit it. Now, how many copies of my new book would you like? Remember, you’ll need to order enough for your family and friends – gotta share the joy that IS ME!!!

Now, about the RP. I gotta tell ya, I DO NOT KNOW WHO IT IS. I have snooped, questioned and sneaked my way all over Riverdale trying to catch the culprit red-handed, but the RP is always one step ahead of me.

I actually built a spreadsheet, entered each prank and its victim and tracked the position of everyone else at the time of the incident. In every single case, EVERYONE had an alibi! The April Fool’s computer hacking incident leads me to believe that the RP must be techno-savvy, so I have narrowed my list down to 2 primary suspects:

1. Dilton and

2. Patty, our Beloved Fairy Blogmother

This isn’t the first time their names have come up. So, assuming it IS one OR BOTH of them, how do I go about proving it?

Reg

That’s the title of my new autobiography. Like it? It came to me an instant after Ms. G gave us our assignment. I’m sure you’ve heard about our big book assignment. Well, if I have to take the time to write a book, it might as well be on a subject I love… a subject that is near and dear to my heart… a subject I can’t possibly get bored writing about… ME!

And there is a humanitarian aspect to my book, too. I mean, think of all the kids I’ll be helping who read my book. Why, I’ll be a role model for generations to come! You know, I may just win an award for this.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta get started. The muse is calling.

The One, The Only –

Reg

Patty, your Fairy Blogmother here. I told Reggie I’d put a post on his blog letting you know what he’s up to. Reggie, Archie and Jughead left this morning for NYC.

Apparently, Reggie planned to go by himself, but Mr. Mantle said he couldn’t. Reg didn’t look too happy about his traveling companions; you should have seen them! Archie was changing tunes every 2 seconds and Jughead was eating chips – and getting them all over the back seat of Reggie’s car! LOL

I have NO idea what Betty and Veronica will think when they show up unannounced… but I bet it’ll be fun.

Stay tuned –

Patty

What is Plan B? I'll let you know when I figure it out.

The Reg

Greetings, adoring fans.

I know, I haven’t posted in a few days. I’ve been busy doing a good deed for an injured friend. Pop Tate’s Cousin got hurt and so several of us pitched in to help him this weekend. If you’ve never offered to help someone in their hour of need, I encourage you to do so. It will warm your heart.

(Also, girls love the Easter Bunny. You cannot believe how many babes want to have their picture taken with a fuzzy white rabbit! Unbelievable! I haven’t gotten this many phone numbers since that time I borrowed a puppy from my neighbor and carried it around at the fair!)

So, get well Pop’s Cousin – whatever your name is. We’re there for ya!

The Reg

We went to school today. Was everything back to normal? No way. Basically, there are just trails shoveled around town to walk through and drive on. I think we got about 18” of snow in Riverdale since Monday night.

So, as I was walking into school, I saw poor Svenson – who has been old since, forever – trying to shovel a path between the cafeteria and the science lab. He looked pooped. So, I organized a shovel brigade – about 50 guys who volunteered to help Svenson between classes and during study hall. He was so happy. Warmed my heart.

Did I actually shovel? Nooooo, I organized; that’s important too. Besides, shoveling is a poor use of my skill set.

Reg

Today I saw something cool. I saw Jughead disappear. It’s true.

At lunch, we (the guys) were talking and I dropped a bit of trivia. I said, “Did you know that on February 29^th, Leap Day, tradition says that women can propose marriage to men?”

Just then Ethel walked by.

I heard a little “poof” and Jughead was gone! I didn’t see him the rest of the day. :)

Reg

I read Veronica’s post. It worked. I knew I couldn’t plan anything KEWL for the weekend with the likes of Arch and Moose in the mix. I mean, come on – how can I be brilliant with those 2 tagging along?

I wouldn’t let my guard down just yet if I were you, Ms. Lodge. There is no time limit on Gotchas.

Reg