The Judges Are…

Wow! I love all these judges and I know they will do great:D Good Luck to All!!

katy

My day was pretty good:) I finished and rehearsed my Powerpoint Presentation on the ACT:D, finished my Macbeth report, cleaned my room, finished the last book in the Vampire Diaries, am listening to the Archies, mm Bicycles, Roller Skates, and you, ooo, my baby, baby, it was an uneventful day, but atleast my Dad will come home today:D

Well that's actually sort of a good thing and sort of a bad thing, He is a 100 percent perfectionist, meaning when he is home my brother, myself, and my mom, are all idiots since we can not measure up to his standards. He also is a compulsive hoarder. A Compulsive hoarder or 'Pack-rat' saves evereything he/she has ever had and are usually quite messy and a procrastinist. So, my house has a large library in it, but there is only little paths to get to everything, everything else is covered up about five feet with junk! Last year, we were watching a movie out in our family room and through the window into the library, I saw a rat. It scared me SO much. A rat living in part of the house that I normally go into to get books. And when I and my brother and mom confront my Dad on this, he says that it is our fault, that this happened. I have had to start throwing my stuff out so my Dad can have enough room to put and store his junk. He even has a large storage area full of junk it's about 100ft by 30 ft and very tall. I just don't know what to do anymore:( Does anyone have any suggestions? My mom took him to a counselor ten years ago and he acted calm while my mom, whose in tears, trying to tell the counselor what my Dad is like, looks like she's the problem. I don't like me being a problem in my own house. If anyone has any suggestions please, please, please post them. I'm in tears right now just thinking about it:(
I'll post this in all the blogs, so please, please, respond, share some insight PLEASE!!

:( Katy :(

My day was soo good!!I finished my book talk today and I'm soo happy!Today I had Gym and also I did quite a few fun stuff and yesterday I went swimming.!!!I just swimmed at this place called *** yesterday was a pro-d day at my school and so there was'nt very much people!! maybe because some schools didn't have pro-d day yesterday.I was pretty happy that I got a break.Today I got school and im very happy,too.I'm actually happier then having a break from school.I actually love school.I don't do anything at home.I just wander around and just read or draw.Hooray for school today!!Welcome school,to another happy day with me...and hooray for school!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!I welcome you soo much!!!

katy,

Ooh Katy, :'( that is so horrible! **Many many hugs to you.

We all have our faults. I recently discovered one and I gotta work on it, lol.

But in your case, and I don't want to judge but if you want my observation, from what I understand in your post, it looks to me as if your dad IS the problem. He has your mom, you and your brother dominated in certain ways and that is wrong because he is not respecting all of you. Sounds like when something goes wrong, he makes up excuses and/or blames others even if it was his fault. That pile of junk you said there is in your house that he collected is his fault. He should have done his part or ask for help to clean it up.

Don't feel bad Katy because I don't think it's your fault. And don't be afraid to be who you are. I know it's hard especially living with a family member who is like this but know who you are and that when things like this happen it is not your fault. Sounds like he is not living to his part of a fatherly role which is to love, protect and help raise his family to become good men and women and a good example. Instead, he sounds like he is acting like a selfish and spoiled bad kid. Your mom did the good thing to talk to a counselor because it shows she is trying to help your dad, the family and herself from falling apart. What your dad needs to do is change for the better and it can't happen unless he wants too. He has to learn to open up and communicate. This is especially hard when the person has an ego or too much pride.

When a person opens up and shares their feelings with someone close to them, it creates a bond and also many benefits, for example if you and your mom create a strong bond, you will be able to understand more how she would feel under a certain circumstances and you will jump to her side and maybe know what to do but you will show her how much you care for her and support her by just standing by her side with an arm over her shoulders. You might even become best friends and who better than a family member who knows you more than anyone else, and etc.

People change because they want too. What you can do is help support your mom and brother to be strong and brave, hold your heads high and not fall into a hole and be there for each other when you guys need it. To unite and be supportive to each other in your own ways. And you can ask them too to help you when you are down or anytime. Weather it be verbally for example telling your mom every now and then like "Don't worry mom. I love you and I'm here for you. You are not alone." Or if you feel better by writing it down, you can tell her in a little note and give it to her in private when you have a chance.

But because your dad is different and no matter how good or bad he may be, he is still your dad and like all of us kids, we have to respect and love our parents. If it's a person who is difficult like your dad, it's hard to get close to them and love them and it's not your fault. Because of their problem for example their attitude or something, they push away their loved ones which causes those loved ones to fear them. So respect your dad but if you are afraid to show your respect to him for example afraid to hug him, you can find other ways like pray for him, certain things you would like to do for him for example, if he likes books, you can dust off his books from the shelves for him. :)

Don't be afraid to speak up but of course depending on what it is about and how you say it. If it's about confronting your dad about something, try to talk to him calmly and with your mother present in the room. BUT before you do, talk to your mom about it first. If she says no, then don't do it.

I hope that was okay. Usually I have a hard time explaining stuff and I'm not good at giving advices. LOL, I'm usually the one taking them. :)

So no worries Katy. You are not alone. You have your mom and brother who can relate... I don't know what else to say.

Of course you don't have to listen to what I just posted. It is all up to you and like i said earlier, it is just my observation based on what I understood from your post. But only God, you and your family know for sure what is going on with him. All I can suggest for you is to be a good person. :D

Many hugs to you, my bloggy buddy. :D And whenever you need someone to listen, I'm here for you too. :D

LOL, I forgot to post my comment about the judges, lol! :D

Coolness! And I just know that Ms. Grundy is gonna post a correction again about a misspelling or something about the winner's story. Gulp! lol! Whoever the winner will be, no worries. Your story was chosen because the judge loved it and that rocks! :D

Good luck my fellow writers! :D

WOW!,I NEVER SUSPECTED THEM! TO BE JUDGES.I AM SURE THEY'LL DO GREAT.WELL, GOOD LUCK TO THOSE WHO TOOK PART.I WROTE A STORY WHICH ALMOST TOOK TWO WHOLE HOURS!!!,BUT IT WAS NOT PRINTED.

Dear Katy, I know that your really looking for help. And i know that these blogs aren't really for this purpose but maybe they should be. K. here's some suggestions: look it's not your fault. Parents (lets face it) need to sometimes blam it on someone (even if it is their own flesh and blood). I had a problem something like that. IT'S NOT UR FAULT!!!!! Let's face it....life seems to suck...and i know this sounds like an older person but time really will fix it. It may not be the way you want it to be but welll...ur mom was smart in going to a counselor. Your dad sounds like mine. Totally pigheaded (hope i didn't offend you). That's a big problem. And i know because of this you can really feel hurt. I've gone throught it. You'll get through it. Maybe not gracefully but you know.....it happens. Can't tell you anything else but there are others out there like you. Just Smile ;-) this truely makes the world go around. hehehe wow i really do sound old. Also Betty.....can you make a area in this site for people who just need to talk? I think it could help teens who need it.

Good luck Katy-------Fiesta Chicka

p.s. going to partys also help you feel better. Be around funny people. And don't do anything dumb. It'll just make things worse.

Thanks SO much to Fiesta Chicka and Hilda! :D I really appreaciate all the advice! It just feels so overwhelming somedays:( And I thank you again, for making sure I wasn't crazy:) After reading your advice (and I appreciate every word of it) I have talked to my Mom about when would be a good day or time to do this, and we can't come up with one:( Maybe we'll just do it this weekend or when the subject comes up:) I'm just SO depressed somedays about this:( Hope it gets better and I'll keep posting when it seems too overwhelming:) So beware, you can disregard them, or do what you like, any advice is welcomed completly:)

The Ever-Grateful and Thankful for your advice,
-katy-

=D
~Jasmine~

Hey Bets!!
My day today was good too but very dull and sad...I wish that I could just make 100,000,000 more friends forever!!! It will be wonderful if I did or if I got more friends like about unlimited...yeah!!! If I did I would just play with them every second and if they don't wanna play with me... they will be triple judges and now and now and now and now....Hey!! Finish this and now and now thing!!! I'm serious here for your information!

katy, im so so so so sorry..
the best advice i can give you is that your going to have to confront your mom first... then talk to your dad..you need to tell him how you feel!
-shea (miss soon to be mrs. nick jonas

Katy! :D Yay, you replied! You are VERY welcome! It's my pleasure. :)

I'm so happy you talked to your mom about it. I totally understand. When you feel like you are going crazy and start doubting yourself, don't because by the way you described your situation in your post, you are not. You are suffering the effects of your dad's bad behavior. When a person is like that, the victims tend to become depressed, loose self-esteem, self-doubt, nervous, you name it! And the more time passes by like that, the worse things could get. But don't worry because I'm proud of you for talking to your mom about it so that you can all come to a decision and take action before things get worse.

You'll be okay. Just be strong, surround yourself with people and things that give you encouragement, strength, faith, courage and support to have the strength to go forward. I'll pray for you and your family too. :D God listens to everyone and He can help you. As they say, "For God, nothing is impossible." It may seem to take long to come true but it doesn't mean it wont if it's something good. And like my mom says, "Everything has it's time."

This problem will end some day. It's true. It may seem impossible but believe it or not, it's not. I've witnessed things that look impossible but doesn't end up that way. Just keep hanging on and help your mom and brother to be strong too and ask them too when you need it too. :D And when you start to doubt yourself, talk to your mom, your brother or even write down a list of all the good qualities you have and you'll see who you are. ;)

I hope your dad realizes it real soon and stops denying how bad he is so he can change before he looses something so very precious: his family's love. He's lucky to have you and your family.

So I wish you and your family lots of good luck and whenever you need someone to listen to you, I'll listen. :)

More hugs to you and your family.

Your bloggy buddy! :D

Katy, no worries chicka. That's how this thing works. Good idea for posting your confusion on the blogs. So that way me and Hilda could help u out in a little way. Not much but i like to help. No matter what. So yeah. Send another blog if need be. I'll respond. Oh, and Hilda...good job with the suggestions.

good luck yet again Katy. I hope things work out 4 u.

-Fiesta Chicka a.k.a. me

Thanks once again to you guys! I really, really appreciate all the advice:D Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for giving me advice, thank you for praying, and thank you most of all for just being there for me, and for everyone! Thanks,
-katy-

Fiesta Chicka,

Thanks so much! :D

And I'm proud of you for helping Katy out too. :D

Katy & Hilda:

hey guys, it makes me feel good giving advise. No matter how small. Plus it's pretty cool how we just keep saying little things to each other on this blog. lol. kinda weird but cool. So yeah. i only did what i felt was right. but thanx to both of you for the thanx. Makes me feel good.

-Fiesta Chicka

p.s. If you guys need to tlk just post it on that days blog. I'll check.

katy,

You're very very welcome. :D

Fiesta Chicka,

You're very welcome! :D

Yeah, we all need encouragement and someone to listen when we are down and it's a huge help and comfort when someone is there to listen and help us out however we can. :D

Later bloggy buddies :D

I was wondering when you find out the winners. Will you tell it on your blog or will it be in the hall of fame?